Bismillaahir Rahmaanir Raheem
Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuhu
Allahumma sualli 'alaa sayyidinaa Muhammad wa 'alaa aalihii wa ashaabihi wa sallam
5th Rabi'al thani, 1436
A few weeks ago, I heard about various incidences of
sexual abuse of some of our Muslim girls. The stories drove me mad. I could not
understand why some of our men could be so callous yet we all sit quiet and
unperturbed by all these happenings.
Some of the Stories
1.
Rape in the Masjid
Two years ago, a 12 year old girl was raped in the
Masjid (Mosque) by a Muslim man. When her parents wanted to react, the
community told them to be patient and let the man go in order not to make such
a shameful thing public. The girl, now 14, hates every other man.
2.
Raped in the
Islamic Centre where she Schooled
Two years ago, a teacher who had informed the mother of
one of the girls he taught about his intentions to marry her in the future, had
raped this girl one day. She was 14. Her dad was late and her mum was
struggling to provide for this girl and her younger siblings. This teacher
threatened her not to tell anyone. Within some months after that he found a way
to rape her again. This time, she got pregnant and after 6 months, he aborted
it for her in a dubious way. At 16 now, this girl tells everything to a male
confidant that she met. She wants to tell her mother about everything. Meaning,
her mum did not know all the while. What a shame!
And the stories continue. This is not the point of
focus of this write-up but I just want us to have a highlight on how much the
chastity of the Muslimah is being rubbed in the mad these days.
The maintenance of the chastity of any girl or woman is
the responsibility of everyone; the community, the family and the girl herself.
I would concentrate on the Muslimah and why she needs to fight for her chastity
as one of her duties ‘before her marriage.’ That is not to say that she does
not fight for chastity after marriage, she does.
It is Normal to Be
Sexually Attracted to the Opposite Sex
As we grow, all the adolescence drama happens. Among
them is our attraction to the opposite gender which does not depend on whether
we are religious or not. What we need to know however is;
‘We should never
react to such attractions.’
We should not react in the sense that, we should not go
telling these boys how much we love them and all that because just as soon as
such feelings come, they disappear. And they disappear a lot quickly when we do
not entertain them. When we entertain them, a lot of bad things happen and we
end up regretting every bit of our actions.
When we know that attraction to the opposite sex is
absolutely normal and that whether we like it or not we will be attracted to an
opposite sex at one time or the other, then we will not give it much
importance. I have also realized that the rates at which ladies get attracted
to guys differ. Some get attracted to them at short intervals whilst others
hardly get attracted to guys. As we grow, we learn to interpret what we feel a
lot clearly.
The Women of Old
I have always admired the religious men and women of
old. They set the standards of excellence in everything good and from them we
ought to learn to better our status before Allah azza wa jal. I will therefore
fish out a number of women of old and how much value they placed on their
chastity.
One of the many aayaat (verses) that talks about the
importance of our chastity is Surat
Al-Ahzab, the Confederates, Chapter 33 ayah 35. Allah azza wa jal says;
‘…the men who guard
their private parts and the women who do so, and the men who remember Allah
often and the women who do so - for them Allah has prepared forgiveness and a
great reward.’
And there are many ahaadith as well that tell us the
importance of our chastity. Among them is;
"Whoever
guarantees me the chastity of what is between his legs ( i.e. his private
parts), and what is between his jaws ( i.e., his tongue), I guarantee him
Paradise."
(Prophet Muhammad Suallallaahu alayhi wa sallam)
Maryam Alayhas
salaam wishes for death instead
The story of the noble woman, Maryam, alayhas salaam,
has never ceased to amaze me. As a young girl who had known nothing but worship
of her Creator, how was she going to deal with the fact that she suddenly got
pregnant and gave birth without any affairs with any male. And just when she
had seen a man whom she knew clearly could try to destroy her chastity, she had
done the most amazing thing. She said;
"Indeed, I
seek refuge in the Most Merciful from you, [so leave me], if you should be
fearing of Allah’
(Surat Maryam,
Mary, Chapter 19 ayah 18)
In this era however, we see that we the women actually
put ourselves in the noses of the men. The men of today are now those who are
seeking refuge in Allah azza wa jal from us. The State of the Ummah of RASUUL.
Knowing she could not give birth whiles a virgin, she
asks Angel Jibril, alayhis salaam, an intelligent question after he told her of
the good news of a pure son. She asked in ayah 20 of that same chapter;
‘How can I have a
son while no man has touched me and I have not been unchaste?’
Soon she had given birth and she felt pain. Yet what
was she going to tell her people who might never believe in the fact that her
chastity had remained intact and in her limited knowledge of what Allah azza wa
jal was able to do, she had wished for death. She said in ayah 23;
"…Oh, I wish I
had died before this and was in oblivion, forgotten.’
As believing women who have been told to take this
woman as a role model in the last ayah of Surat At-Tahreem (Chapter 66), we
could not just read this woman’s story for the fun of it. We should ponder on
every bit of her lifestyle in detail, grasp the lessons and apply them in our
lives as well.
Zeinab Al-Gazzali
Almost Kills a Man
In her book, the Return of the Pharaoh, Zeinab
Al-Gazzali, a strong woman who inspires me a great deal, talks about two plans
made for someone to rape her whiles in prison. Lacking strength due to
excessive hunger, thirst and suffocation in a tiny and uncomfortable cell, she
had still gained the strength to strangle a strong soldier dead as he attempted
to rape her. She was shocked when they came to pick his collapsed body from her
cell. The second man who had come to rape her, had rather pleaded with her to
pray for him instead.
The Woman who pleaded
for Her Chastity
The
Prophet Muhammad suallallaahu alayhi wa sallam tells us of the story three
people who were on a journey when they were overtaken by a storm and therefore
they took shelter in a cave. A rock slipped down from the mountain and blocked
the exit of the cave. They decided to call upon Allah azza wa jal for help by
virtue of a good deed that each one of them had done.
I
am more interested in the prayer of the second man. He said;
“O
Lord, I had a cousin whom I loved more passionately than any man loves a woman.
I tried to seduce her but she would have none of me, till in a season of great
hardship due to famine, she approached me for help and I gave her one hundred
and twenty Dinars on condition that she would have sexual intercourse with me.
She agreed, and when we got together and I was just going to have intercourse
with her, she pleaded: ‘Fear Allah, and
do not break the seal unlawfully’; whereupon I moved away from her, despite
the fact that I desired her most passionately; and I let her keep the money I
had given her. O Lord, if I did this thing seeking only your pleasure, then do
move the distress in which we find ourselves.”
From
such a woman who pleads for her chastity, we must learn. Unfortunately, today, we
rather push ourselves right into the eyes of men. We feel good when men desire
us even if it is illegally. Such were the women of old. Awesome and amazing!
Sarah, the Wife of
Prophet Ibraheem, alayhis salaam, Prays for Her Chastity
In
a popular hadith, the Prophet Muhammad suallallaahu alayhi wa sallam tells us
about how Prophet Ibraheem, alayhis salaam, had posed as the sister of his
wife, Sarah, whilst they were travelling due to a wicked king who took all
beautiful women away from their husbands. When Sarah had to deal with the king
who wanted to tamper with her chastity, this was what happened;
‘She
performed ablution and prayed. She supplicated to Allah, the Almighty, saying,
‘O Allah, if I have believed in You and in Your Messenger, and have guarded my
private parts except for my husband, then do not give this disbeliever power
over me.’ The king fell as if he was suffocating and fled. This happened three
times and every time she supplicated to Allah, the Almighty to drive the tyrant
away. Finally, the king said, ‘By Allah, you have brought me a devil. Send her
back to Ibraheem and give her a servant.’ When she went back to Prophet Ibraheem,
alayhis salaam, she said, ‘Look how Allah suppressed the disbeliever and
blessed me with a servant!’
These are highly inspirational women from whom we must
learn. The stories of such women are endless. Being Muslim young ladies who are
preparing for marriage, we must make our chastity an important thing which we
must protect. First of all, it is a command by Allah azza wa jal and His noble
Messenger, suallallaahu alayhi wa sallam. Secondly, it adds to our self-esteem
as humans. We should not cheapen ourselves for the world to use us as sexual
tools. We must remember that virginity and chastity go a long way to contribute
to our spiritual inclination to Allah azza wa jal.
No matter how much you desire a man or a man desires
you, make sure that; that desire is only fulfilled in marriage, otherwise,
fight it with all your heart, mind, body and soul for the love of the Al-Wadud,
Subhaanahu wa ta’aalaa and His beloved Messenger, suallallaahu alayhi wa
sallam, and for the love of yourself as a woman and as a human. Fight it with
excessive du’a, with your strength and with your intelligence. Remember, Allah
azza wa jal will help you! More vim!
Mmmm! I did not intend this to be this lengthy but
alhamdulillaah. Never tire of reading and learning. As we grow, we learn and as
we learn, we must grow. May Allah azza wa jal preserve the chastity of every
man and woman and accept from us our every little effort to please Him solely.
Thank you and jazaakumullaahu khair for reading and for your patience. Smile to
Jannah. All comments and suggestions for my ‘Before Her Marriage’ write-ups on
this blog are welcomed. Keep smiling to Jannah!
Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu
www.beforehermarriage.blogspot.com
before her marriage writings
www.mmahajia.blogspot.com my
articles
www.strivingbeautifulsoul.blogspot.com
my beautiful soul series
www.rubabawords.blogspot.com my
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