MARRY ME: When the Demoiselle Got the Old Man's Proposal

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuhu my dear brothers and sisters. I pray you are doing super awesome. May Allah azza wa jal continue to take care of you and all your affairs. Aameen Yaa Allah. Sure, I am doing excellent too, alhamdulillaah. Smiles.

IN LOVE WITH HER HUB: The 5 for 9 Years and the Glorified Side Chichi

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuhu my dear brothers and sisters. I pray you are doing awesome by God's grace. May Allah azza wa jal continue to ease for you your affairs and grant you contentment, happiness and serenity both in this life and the next. Aameen.

My last article, 'SHARE HIM WITH ME PLEASE: A Letter to His Wife,' was a blast! The comments I got via WhatsApp especially set me thinking. It taught me so much and I really appreciate the time you take in reading my quite lengthy articles and even letting in your comment. Thank you.

Today, I have two major stories to tell.

And oh! I'd be extremely grateful if you could share your thoughts on both of them with me afterwards in shaa Allah. Smiles.

The First Story - The Bride is Finally In

There is this young married lady with three children. She is 'timid' and seems to fear even talking to people. In brief, she is 'bullyable'. I have come to realize that the world usually takes the energy out of such people. I tried to make her talk and act confident even with the people she thought were superior to her. Did I succeed? Well, let's leave that for another day.

This lady looks fine (but thin -  I ain't fat either, heheheee), dresses well and all that so it came as a big surprise to me when I found out that she was 'not doing so well.' That was euphemism. Her troubles could fill a well yet she came across so fine.

She had gotten married to her sweetheart! Gosh! I didn't ask about her story before marriage. Heheheee! Don't worry, what I have is enough. The morning after their first night, her husband put her chop money on the table before going out. She went to grab it and then she saw 4 Ghana Cedis. She wondered what that was. She gave him the benefit of doubt. She believed he gave her that money because he knows they had lots of foodstuffs. Foodstuffs that her family had given her to come along with to her marital home. She cooked good food that cost a lot more than the 4 cedis and he ate to his fill. She didn't ask him anything and he didn't say anything about the money either.

The next day, there was an improvement. He left 5 cedis. She did not ask him what for. She cooked and he ate. Then some of the food items began to finish and she told him but he said nothing and did nothing. He only kept leaving 5 cedis on the table until all the foodstuffs were done and she could do nothing with that money. 

Interestingly, she was not working so she had no money of her own. She became pregnant and the story remained same. Sometimes, she had to beg the people in her house for food to eat as hunger gnaws at her vitals - a pregnant woman.

So, her husband was the type who goes out very early in the morning and returns very late at night. And when he comes at night, he only wanted his food, he ate, took his bath and if he had no need of her intimately, he slept off. If he had a need for her, he touched here, touched there, gets his way and sleeps off. They don't chat like husband and wife do and it ate her up but she kept all the hardship to herself. She wanted to be a good wife, to take the advice she was given during their marriage. Not even her family knew what she was going through. They said marriage was bitter so she endured.

Unlucky for her, she could only give birth through cesarian session which he was forced to pay. Interestingly, she missed most of her antenatal appointments because she couldn't afford the small charges. The only thing he will pay for was her scan. He was ignorant about the scans she needed so she lied to him about being scanned often so she could gather the money for her hospital items which he refused to buy.

Their marriage is nine years now and it is still the same 5 cedis a day. Funny enough, even that amount did not come everyday. Sometimes, he just went his way leaving them with nothing. 

Luckily, she had a job along the way that paid something small which she used to support herself and her children. She takes care of everything except for their schooling. Clothes, food, every other thing. And she kept cooking for her husband too. 

Her husband takes care of himself right under their eyes. He buys and sews good clothing for himself. He has all kinds of shoes and what have you. But to get some for she and her children was a taboo to him. What he understood by his responsibility as a husband was that he should give 5 cedis on some days and everything is figured out. And they say he is a Muallim. Heheheee! 

So, one day, she got fed up and packed to her parent's house. A bold step for someone like her who feared the backlash of society. Her family were shocked at the revelations. I guess, they probably knew. They just wanted to see her dead before they act. Heheheee! The family told her to not return until he comes to apologise and promise to do the right thing.

Of course, he came chasing after her at her work place trying to woo her to come back into her slavery but she was adamant - determined to right the so many years of wrong. Of course, if I were him, who had a wife who caused me so cheaply, why won't I run after her? Which woman in this era will he get who can contain this nonsense?

Then he went to her family and small-talked them into accepting his apology and his promise to treat her better.

Off he went with his wife and the next day, hurrrraaaaayyyy! She had 10 cedis as chop money. Don't laugh and don't get angry. She wasn't happy but she thought it will get better. Just like she did nine years ago. Then their baby's diaper finished and she told him and he never bought it. Meanwhile, he promised her family that he will buy the diapers, clothing, foodstuffs and all. But he thought the only solution to his problem with her could be solved with 10 cedis which still does not come everyday. And her family gave her a month to go back and see whether he will change over and give them feedback. And she had loads of negative feedback. She preferred to stay with her parents without the burden of a pressure and hardship giving husband.

And the nine years of marriage is on the verge of collapsing because a very naive and 'stupid' wife suddenly got fed up and thought she deserved better. This husband is someone who is comfortable enough to take care of her the way she wants just fine. How crazy she was about him and now, how mad she is at him. Is such an angelic woman worth sacrificing over something this flimsy?

This is the end of my first story. Are you tired already? Please, drink some fresh water and come to continue reading the second story which is a lot more interesting. Smiles!

She finds her husband's side chick and tried her luck!

This lady got married to a very wealthy man. Everyone thought she was lucky to have caught such a big fish. I guess some even envied her. She herself thought herself lucky to have a man like that love her and be her husband.

Interestingly, a few months after marriage, honey moon was over. It was now time for serious business just as a lot of marriages have been turned into - hell.

Her needs and wants which he used to cater for easily wasn't forthcoming anymore and she could not take care of them either because she wasn't working. She was totally dependent on her fine boy rich husband. Life got tougher and tougher for her.

Luckily, that is according to her, she found out one of the ladies her husband was dating outside of marriage. Yes! You read right, one of the ladies. She decided to meet with this girl. She knew the girl in the area already. Let me name this girl side chichi. Side chichi was an attractive slay queen who dated men for the pleasure of it. She was from a rich home and so money wasn't her main focus. She just loves to see men hovering around her and licking the floor she walked on.

This wife made side chichi (SC) aware that she knew she was dating her husband. SC was bored and angry at this wife. She was ready to send her to the gutters about how she should go and deal with her husband instead. But this wife had  come with a plea. 

She calmed SC down and explained to her that she was going through a lot of hardship and that she wanted SC to talk to her husband to consider his treatment of her.

SC was still angry and told the woman off. She didn't see why the woman should dare to come to her about her affairs with her husband.

Interestingly however, SC found out that this man was treating his wife far worse than she had made her understand.

She therefore decided to help this wife. She began to request money unnecessarily from him and he willingly gave it to her. After taking the money, she just gives them to his wife. The wife was happy because she finally had some ease in her life. SC made the wife know how she was getting money for her and this wife was even happier. She even requested for money to change her hair in front of the wife once, and the man sent her more than she had requested. She forwarded that money to his now happy wife.

This side chichi became her confidant and the coolness of her eyes. She did not care anymore what her husband did wrong to her or not. She learnt to accept her faith and left him to enjoy his life while she enjoyed hers.

Interesting huh! And both of these stories unlike my earlier story are true stories.

If I am going to share my thoughts on these two stories, I will take away the sauce in the food. Do share your thoughts in the comments section on WhatsApp to me on 0555392722.

May Allah azza wa jal ease your affairs and grant you bliss. Aameen Yaa Allah. Do take excellent care of yourself. Thank you and jazaakumullaahu khairan!

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Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu-Morla

+233555392722

www.mmahajia.blogspot.com

www.rubabawords.blogspot.com

www.strivingbeautifulsoul.blogspot.com

www.letterstomydotas.blogspot.com

www.beforehermarriage.blogspot.com

SHARE HIM WITH ME PLEASE: A Letter to His Wife

Assalaamu alaykum my dear sister in Islam. I pray you, your husband and your children are doing awesome bi iznillaah. 

Where do I start from? I guess by the caption of my letter, you would have a clue what I want to tell you about. Well, I pray and hope that your heart is not beating out of anger already. I actually pray that you're reading this with some kind of amusement. Yes! That is what I want, your happiness.

Before anything else, let me tell you something small about myself.

I am Khadijah, a devout Muslimah like you. I am a university graduate and a successful woman on the average. I come from a respectable family and I am sure you will love me if you get to know me.

Why am I writing to you such a letter? Well, I have been searching for a husband for a long time now. Someone who will suit my personality just fine. Mind you, I have loads of proposal from some really nice guys but I just always feel I am not the kind of wife they need. Not that they aren't religious or cool, but it is just me. I really want something that I am unable to find in any of them. It hurts to break their hearts but it is better so than to force myself into something that I am not comfortable with.

Now, I like you. Yes, I do. Let me say, I admire you a lot. Interestingly, I like your husband just as much or even more. Forgive my bluntness but I cannot help it. It is the truth. I have never believed in or paid attention to romance nor anything close to it but oh my God! I am head over heels in love with your husband. Do pardon me for that.

If I could, I would never have allowed myself to be entangled like this but I have no control over my heart and what it yearns. The truth is, I have prayed and fasted in order to be able to make a jest out of this but the more I fast and pray, the more my heart melts into your family. Perhaps, it isn't your husband that I want but to belong to both him and to your family.

I guess if God was going to pluck him out of your family and plant him elsewhere, I might not look at him a second time.

You see, I have been watching your family from afar for a very long time. You will be amazed some of the things I know. No, I haven't hired spies to watch you. I know very well that is against our religion. The things that make me feel the need to ask you for your husband's hand in marriage are numerous. Oh yes! You read right? I want to marry your husband badly. I also feel that asking for him from you makes the likelihood of me being accepted by him higher.

I know you're precious to him. I know he loves you. I know you're his world. I know he will grant your every wish provided it is not against God and it is not beyond him.

How super beautiful it would be if you made me one of your wishes!

Yes, I know your marriage is not just roses, I know there is the bitter leaf part and even that tastes sweet for me my dear sister. Trust me, I know them all.

I guess you're thinking I probably already know your husband. I do and I don't. I see him, I hear him but that is it. He probably has seen and spoken to me a few times too but I am definitely not anything to grab his attention. I know him, he is a man of discipline and even that is lovely about him.

The first time I heard him call you sweetheart in public, to the hearing of everyone, I was wowed. It was just so beautiful. I have heard couples call each other boring names and I never fancy having a husband like that. When I found out that he had a long list of beautiful names he calls you, I was blown! Your kind is like what we watch in the movies.

I mostly feel like coming up to you to express my admiration when I see you walking while holding hands. It is simply admirable. We know that even some newly married couples hardly feel comfortable to do that in public. That is why I am amazed that after many years of marriage and with four children, you still got things going this beautifully.

I also know he is a responsible man - to his family, to you and to his children. May Allah continue to bless him. How did I know? From you of course. You're always saying it and praying to Allah to bless him. How I pray you will make me share in this blessing.

I know how merciful he is to you. The fact that he sees helping with house chores as a responsibility makes him the more adorable. When we see so many men who prefer to sit doing nothing or chatting away their time outside while their women get engulfed with housework, he chooses to be helpful, and in the end you make time for each other. If wishes were horses, I will definitely want to ride yours my dear.

I know you're both working and your family look financially comfortable to me. It is only good that I ask, 'Do you think your husband is financially capable of taking care of me?' See, don't worry if he cannot. I am rich enough to cater for myself and even add a lot to the family bank. Money isn't my focus, trust me. I just really badly want your husband - to be a part of your family.

Polygyny isn't something I admire though I agree with its need. I believe polygyny such as ours will be awesome and inspiring. I mean, imagine me having a husband like yours, calling us all the sweet names we could ever dream about, holding our hands in public, showering love upon us in various ways even after many children. I mean, imagine you and I as sisters, wonderful wives of a wonderful man, loving each other beautifully. What is more lovelier than that?

My dear big sis Salma, I hope you understand that I have thought carefully about this before telling you. If you knew me, you will know that this isn't easy for me to do. It is only that I really need to shoot my shot. Who knows? Allah might just endorse it for me. And oh! How exhilarated I will be.

Excuse me to ask again, 'Do you think your husband is spiritually, physically (I hope you understand this particular one well), and emotionally ready for a second wife like me? I hope yes. I am asking this because there are some things we may not know until you, the wives, tell us.

Once a sheikh told us an interesting story. He said that a very well-to-do woman who had lost her husband some years ago proposed marriage to him. She was everything that a man would want in a wife. His wife did not have a problem with him marrying again but he knew it was better for him not to. He respectfully declined her proposal due to the fact that he was not sexually capable of handling two women. He said that even with his wife, he knew that she was only being patient with him. He believed it was unfair to her that he gives part of this little strength to another woman.

If there are reasons, tangible ones of course, that makes it best that I stay away, please let me know. I will gladly appreciate it though I hope there are no such things.

Now, what do you think about my proposal or say my request or better still, my plea? I will be glad to hear from you. Talk honestly to me. Will you accept me by your husband's side? In your family?

Come to think of it, will you help me get to your husband with my plea? Do you think he will accept? Can you make him accept? Do you think he will love me too or even at least treat me nice too? Gosh! I wish I had the answers to all these already and that they were all positive.

Big sis Salma, I am a Muslimah, I don't want to be your husband's concubine, astagfirullaah. I don't want to be a side chick - I believe your husband isn't into that either. I just really want you to share him with me - make me his wife too for I yearn to have a husband such as him.

I love you and I will respect your decision. Regards to you and your lovely family.

With love❤❤❤!

Khadijah.

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If you were Salma, what will be your reply to Khadijah. Share this with me in my email rubabamohammed@gmail.com or Whatsapp 0555392722. May Allah azza wa jal ease for you your affairs and accept from us our little efforts to please Him. Aameen Yaa Mujeebud' dua. Kindly share and comment down here. Thank you and jazaakumullaahu khairan!

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Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu-Morla

WhatsApp - +233 5559392722

www.mmahajia.blogspot.com

www.rubabawords.blogspot.com

www.beforehermarriage.blogspot.com

www.strivingbeautifulsoul.blogspot.com

www.letterstomydotas.blogspot.com