SHARE HIM WITH ME PLEASE: A Letter to His Wife

Assalaamu alaykum my dear sister in Islam. I pray you, your husband and your children are doing awesome bi iznillaah. 

Where do I start from? I guess by the caption of my letter, you would have a clue what I want to tell you about. Well, I pray and hope that your heart is not beating out of anger already. I actually pray that you're reading this with some kind of amusement. Yes! That is what I want, your happiness.

Before anything else, let me tell you something small about myself.

I am Khadijah, a devout Muslimah like you. I am a university graduate and a successful woman on the average. I come from a respectable family and I am sure you will love me if you get to know me.

Why am I writing to you such a letter? Well, I have been searching for a husband for a long time now. Someone who will suit my personality just fine. Mind you, I have loads of proposal from some really nice guys but I just always feel I am not the kind of wife they need. Not that they aren't religious or cool, but it is just me. I really want something that I am unable to find in any of them. It hurts to break their hearts but it is better so than to force myself into something that I am not comfortable with.

Now, I like you. Yes, I do. Let me say, I admire you a lot. Interestingly, I like your husband just as much or even more. Forgive my bluntness but I cannot help it. It is the truth. I have never believed in or paid attention to romance nor anything close to it but oh my God! I am head over heels in love with your husband. Do pardon me for that.

If I could, I would never have allowed myself to be entangled like this but I have no control over my heart and what it yearns. The truth is, I have prayed and fasted in order to be able to make a jest out of this but the more I fast and pray, the more my heart melts into your family. Perhaps, it isn't your husband that I want but to belong to both him and to your family.

I guess if God was going to pluck him out of your family and plant him elsewhere, I might not look at him a second time.

You see, I have been watching your family from afar for a very long time. You will be amazed some of the things I know. No, I haven't hired spies to watch you. I know very well that is against our religion. The things that make me feel the need to ask you for your husband's hand in marriage are numerous. Oh yes! You read right? I want to marry your husband badly. I also feel that asking for him from you makes the likelihood of me being accepted by him higher.

I know you're precious to him. I know he loves you. I know you're his world. I know he will grant your every wish provided it is not against God and it is not beyond him.

How super beautiful it would be if you made me one of your wishes!

Yes, I know your marriage is not just roses, I know there is the bitter leaf part and even that tastes sweet for me my dear sister. Trust me, I know them all.

I guess you're thinking I probably already know your husband. I do and I don't. I see him, I hear him but that is it. He probably has seen and spoken to me a few times too but I am definitely not anything to grab his attention. I know him, he is a man of discipline and even that is lovely about him.

The first time I heard him call you sweetheart in public, to the hearing of everyone, I was wowed. It was just so beautiful. I have heard couples call each other boring names and I never fancy having a husband like that. When I found out that he had a long list of beautiful names he calls you, I was blown! Your kind is like what we watch in the movies.

I mostly feel like coming up to you to express my admiration when I see you walking while holding hands. It is simply admirable. We know that even some newly married couples hardly feel comfortable to do that in public. That is why I am amazed that after many years of marriage and with four children, you still got things going this beautifully.

I also know he is a responsible man - to his family, to you and to his children. May Allah continue to bless him. How did I know? From you of course. You're always saying it and praying to Allah to bless him. How I pray you will make me share in this blessing.

I know how merciful he is to you. The fact that he sees helping with house chores as a responsibility makes him the more adorable. When we see so many men who prefer to sit doing nothing or chatting away their time outside while their women get engulfed with housework, he chooses to be helpful, and in the end you make time for each other. If wishes were horses, I will definitely want to ride yours my dear.

I know you're both working and your family look financially comfortable to me. It is only good that I ask, 'Do you think your husband is financially capable of taking care of me?' See, don't worry if he cannot. I am rich enough to cater for myself and even add a lot to the family bank. Money isn't my focus, trust me. I just really badly want your husband - to be a part of your family.

Polygyny isn't something I admire though I agree with its need. I believe polygyny such as ours will be awesome and inspiring. I mean, imagine me having a husband like yours, calling us all the sweet names we could ever dream about, holding our hands in public, showering love upon us in various ways even after many children. I mean, imagine you and I as sisters, wonderful wives of a wonderful man, loving each other beautifully. What is more lovelier than that?

My dear big sis Salma, I hope you understand that I have thought carefully about this before telling you. If you knew me, you will know that this isn't easy for me to do. It is only that I really need to shoot my shot. Who knows? Allah might just endorse it for me. And oh! How exhilarated I will be.

Excuse me to ask again, 'Do you think your husband is spiritually, physically (I hope you understand this particular one well), and emotionally ready for a second wife like me? I hope yes. I am asking this because there are some things we may not know until you, the wives, tell us.

Once a sheikh told us an interesting story. He said that a very well-to-do woman who had lost her husband some years ago proposed marriage to him. She was everything that a man would want in a wife. His wife did not have a problem with him marrying again but he knew it was better for him not to. He respectfully declined her proposal due to the fact that he was not sexually capable of handling two women. He said that even with his wife, he knew that she was only being patient with him. He believed it was unfair to her that he gives part of this little strength to another woman.

If there are reasons, tangible ones of course, that makes it best that I stay away, please let me know. I will gladly appreciate it though I hope there are no such things.

Now, what do you think about my proposal or say my request or better still, my plea? I will be glad to hear from you. Talk honestly to me. Will you accept me by your husband's side? In your family?

Come to think of it, will you help me get to your husband with my plea? Do you think he will accept? Can you make him accept? Do you think he will love me too or even at least treat me nice too? Gosh! I wish I had the answers to all these already and that they were all positive.

Big sis Salma, I am a Muslimah, I don't want to be your husband's concubine, astagfirullaah. I don't want to be a side chick - I believe your husband isn't into that either. I just really want you to share him with me - make me his wife too for I yearn to have a husband such as him.

I love you and I will respect your decision. Regards to you and your lovely family.

With love❤❤❤!

Khadijah.

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If you were Salma, what will be your reply to Khadijah. Share this with me in my email rubabamohammed@gmail.com or Whatsapp 0555392722. May Allah azza wa jal ease for you your affairs and accept from us our little efforts to please Him. Aameen Yaa Mujeebud' dua. Kindly share and comment down here. Thank you and jazaakumullaahu khairan!

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Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu-Morla

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