MARRY ME: When the Demoiselle Got the Old Man's Proposal

Assalaamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barkaatuhu my dear brothers and sisters. I pray you are doing super awesome. May Allah azza wa jal continue to take care of you and all your affairs. Aameen Yaa Allah. Sure, I am doing excellent too, alhamdulillaah. Smiles.

You know, once one of my mentors opened up to me about some very tough times in her life. And part of her story is relevant to what I have for you today.

She was a young educated woman in an era where people, especially Muslims, run away from education because they feared it will christianize them. She was one of the lucky few who were privileged to go to school then.

When she finished college, her family decided to marry her to someone as it was usual of them. There was no room in their culture for a woman to make her own choice of husband.

The major problem she had with the one whom they chose for her was that he was very old. He could be a grandfather to her. All his children were older than her and his first wife could be her grandmother.

Of course, education has empowered her - she wasn't that submissive girl who just swallows it all in. She decided to refuse the marriage but just when she wanted to go along with her plans, something pricked her mind. As far as she knew, no woman has ever refused to be married to whoever in their family. She was going to be the first and they will blame it on her education. She knew they will regret ever sending her to school. And in all these, who was going to lose? Her younger sisters who had also been given the opportunity to start school. They will take them out of school right away so that they never have to deal with this kind of stubbornness.

So, she agreed to marry him upon all her fears. She tells me, 'I decided to be the sacrificial lamb.'

Interestingly, this old man became her mentor and sole motivator. He was a rare kind of husband.

She had five children with him, he took care of them lovingly and encouraged her to move further with her education until she earned a PhD. He was the best thing that happened to her. Alhamdulillaah. Smiles!

Now, to my main story...

So, there is this very wealthy old man who has many companies and he is admired so much by the members of his vicinity. Unfortunately, he hadn't been lucky with marriage. He's had three divorces and was unmarried.

This rich old man was in tune with his community. Everyone knew and loved him to some extent. He had provided many employment opportunities for both the old and young. 

He became attracted to a young lady in his community. After watching her go and come for sometime, he began to inform a number of elderly and highly esteemed people in the area about his intention to marry the girl.

They were all happy for this young girl who had caught the rich man's interest. He tasked one of these elders who was like the community leader to talk to the girl on his behalf.

The man sent for the girl and informed her of the old man's intention to marry her. Seeing the girl's facial expression which wasn't pleasant, he began to list the advantages she stood to gain should she accept the man's proposal. He told the girl to go and think about it and give him a response later.

From that day, she began receiving calls from different elderly people from outside and among her family members. Her fathers began to mount pressure on her to accept the man's proposal because it will help their family.

This girl was in her early twenties and the man in his sixties. The man had had three divorces and even his last child was older than her. 

The girl found out that her elderly sister has been receiving monetary gifts from the man. She had a shop and whenever the man passed by and saw her, he will give her something. She also found out that her mother had been given an impressive amount of money by the man. When she questioned them, they said they had no idea the man was interested in her.

She was amazed at how the man was trying to buy everyone off to coerce her into acceptance. She knew that refusal will mean a lot of backlash from so many people.

She was confused. She had a very responsible guy she wanted to marry. He was putting things together so he could come to see her family. Even if she mentioned him now, they will brush him off and even develop some kind of hatred for him so she was in a dilemma.

The truth about the old man was that he had a lady he was having an affair with which was known to a lot of people in the area. Now, this little girl did not see any improvement that the girl's relationship with this rich man had had on her life. She secretly believed he will be a stingy man. Her family and almost all those who were trying to convince her to marry him were doing so because of his money and nothing else. They did not think deeply to know whether he will really do anything positive for them if he married her. What if he betrayed them?

She thought about one of his ex-wives who was now married to a very prominent politician. The lady, to her, was even more beautiful and graceful than her. If he could divorce this lady, then what about her?

She did not also know why he divorced his wives. What if he just fancied marrying elegant ladies and then thrashing them? And of course, everyone knew he was not a very well behaved old man. He just had money but it did not reflect even in the way he dressed and looked.

Her silence about whether she will marry him or not became annoying to the elders and even some young ladies in the community who thought her lucky. They began to show her negative attitudes. She was no more comfortable in the area. The old man also kept stalking her and calling her unnecessarily.

She then decided to seek counsel from a friend whom she respected and knew will guide her to the right thing to do. 

After describing her ordeal to her friend, she advised her that since it was just for money they wanted her to marry him, she should test the man's ability to give her a comfortable life by giving them conditions for acceptance of the proposal. They listed all the conditions as she waited for what will happen next.

Luckily, the elder who had spoken to her about the man's proposal invited her to his house to find out her response. She told him that she had accepted to marry the man. The elder was excited and he started praising her for her wise decision. She then added that she had conditions because she is a young girl and she has to be careful so that no one destroys her life in future. He told her to say them. She told him that she needed the man to buy a car for her. The elder told her that it was not a problem. He had many cars and so he could give her one and even do a lot more for her.

The girl told him she did not want just any car but a brand new latest range rover model that should be painted white and she wants it registered in her name. The man was perplexed. He kept staring at her. She added that she wanted the the old man to put 1.5 billion new Ghana Cedis into her account. The man was wide-eyed and he kept nodding. She said she wanted him to rent two stores for her, one at the Kumasi City Mall and one at the newly built Kejetia Market. The elder was spellbound. Then lastly, she knew the old man had a mansion in a certain town and after the marriage, she wanted to live in that mansion instead of his other houses. The man began shouting at her, not angrily though. He wondered how she could be too wise. As he kept talking, his wife rushed in to see what was happening. He told her some of the things the girl was requesting and she began to laugh. She left them in laughter.

The girl stood up and said she wanted to leave and the elder told her in annoyance that even if she didn't want to leave, she can sit there forever.

As she went out, he shook his head and kept murmuring. When the girl got out of the house, she saw the elder's wife sitting in her shop and laughing her heart out.

From that day, everyone seemed to be amused by her mere presence. They look at and deal with her in admiration. The elder's wife was amazed that there were wise girls like her around. Her own daughter had married a vagabond who mistreated her and dumped her, leaving her with nothing.

Interestingly, the old man never called or stalked her again and she was the happiest person alive. Her family's pressure deflated and they were back to normal.

Now, what do you say? Your thoughts are highly welcomed and it will be great if you shared it with me here in the comments section or via WhatsApp. Smiles and jazaakumullaahu khairan for your time. May Allah azza wa jal gift you with your innermost desires. Aameen Yaa Allah.

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Rubaba Mmahajia Rahma Sabtiu-Morla

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